creatures of habit

my mom is here visiting me for the next three weeks. she's the ultimate creature of habit -- good habits. how i wish i had her good habits. this is her daily routine.

6am
-getup
-juice some funky concoction
-tai chi (sp?)
-eat 2 pieces of toast, butter is optional

7am
-shower

730am
-work like she's 30 years old
she's a cpa so, 3 copies of everything, filed and stamped and rechecked twice.

well, you guys get the picture. no need for further details. workaholic? definitely. creature of habit? most definitely.

she's 65 and has no signs of retiring. her own words, "retirement is for patsies." which i'm kinda glad because i've seen her retire once and it just made her miserable. so, coming out of retirement, she found a second career teaching (and investing, and real estate, and reinvesting, yada yada yada.) did i mention i love doing business with accountants? well, their strict attention to detail is the reason. back to the topic, i've seen her for 30 years doing the same thing over and over. staying healthy, working hard, playing hard.

i mean, i wish i had the same habits as her. i tend to overdo things. no balance. i've been known to be able to pull 3 20 hour days at a time and i am known to pull 72 hours of not doing anything at all. too extreme, too burnt out, too stressed out, very unhealthy. maybe i do not have the urge to develop these habits.

i think habits are formed out of necessity. necessity to make time, necessity to get in touch with business partners, necessity to fit in, etc. i'm pretty sure time management plays a good deal out of all this. productivity is an end result. maybe in due time, i'll also be developing my own work habit.

oh well, it's noon. luch time with my mom. on the hour.

regrets

i am happy-go-lucky. i never look back and think what i could have done better. i never dwell on the past. now, is the most important thing to me. i don't regret anything.

but i do. it seems that the older i get, the more regrets i have. i should've done better in school, i shouldn't have quit that job, i should've waited longer. i think regrets has a lot to do with the present that i dwell in. of course, if it was in the future then it wouldn't be a regret.

you see, the reason i'm writing this is because today, i found out something. an issue about a missing $2000. normally, i wouldn't care about this. in a way, i'm glad it's not a bigger amount but it's not the money. it could very well be $20,000. as i said, it's not the money, rather it's the way it was lied about. after all the promises of being transparent, i've been lied to. my kid was used as an excuse to hide that money. and that pisses me off bad.

well, im still pissed and i can't seem to make a coherrent paragraph. this is giving me a headache.